Oh, what a miracle am I…

That was the theme and title of the finale song at M’s school’s year-end concert. And I just cannot agree more! Every child is a miracle and watching M grow has given me a chance to be a part of it. I continue to marvel at her development from a newborn baby to a preschooler, even though she’s ‘regular’ in most aspects.

Anyway, back to the concert. It took place on a Saturday morning and her class (Pre-Nursery) had two performances – one in Chinese and one in English, on top of the finale song item. We were so proud of M! She did the actions for all 3 song items really well. Most importantly, she enjoyed herself and was not at all frightened on stage, which is quite common for young children (not to mention adults!).

So a big thank you to all the teachers of Schoolhouse by the garden… Especially Feng lao shi and teacher Mag!

Is it worth it?

A few weeks ago, someone asked me this question, which I guess applies to every mum and rightfully every parent. In essence, the question is – Is it worth trading our time for money?

Since my ‘bold’ return to the work force, I spend around 12 hours a day at work (excluding travelling time) five days a week. It’s longer hours than most jobs but pretty normal in this field of work. And let’s just say the money does make up for it to some extent.

Let me first start with what I’m missing out on a typical working day. I’m usually out of the house before M wakes up so I do not go through her morning routine – milk, potty, change, breakfast, send her to school. In the evenings I usually reach home just before her bedtime, so I do not pick her up from school, prepare her dinner, feed her and shower her. The only part of her daily routine I’m still involved is reading her a bedtime story and staying in bed with her till she falls asleep, which may mean the whole night sometimes because I’m just too tired to move! So, from around 6 hours of interaction time to less than 1 hour!

Well for me, the only silver lining is that Matt & I are kinda in a role reversal situation. He is now ‘replacing’ me in those hours that I’m not around. And after 3 months, even he agrees that daddy and daughter are now ‘closer’ than before, something I’m not complaining about! And of course I try to maximise the weekends and keep it strictly for family.

But honestly, I dun think I can answer that question till say at least 10 years later… when I can appreciate the consequences of our decisions today. But its still a good question to constantly ask ourselves, especially us parents. Every child has only 1 childhood and decisions we make will affect the memories we create with them that will last them a lifetime.

Tough… that’s what happens when time becomes a commodity!

Back to work…

Well, one of the drawbacks of not working is that we do not get any leave, of any sort. A week after my surgery, I went back to my gynae to check on the wound. All’s well and the plaster is off. I can now see and feel the roughly 8am cut on my lower abdomen. The tests on the fibroids showed they were benign. Phew!

Physically, I feel much better and can move around with more ease. My abdomen area still feels sore though, as the cut muscles and tissues take time to heal. The stomach binder has been helpful in keeping ‘things’ together but wearing it under clothes can be unsightly. A couple of days ago, I tried not wearing it on a short shopping trip and felt that ‘hanging’ feeling. I’ve since found a better alternative – my mum’s girdles! And they worked perfectly without the bulkiness of the stomach binder

As I got better, I was able to help with simple chores around the house. Matt has been doing everything during this period and he’s going crazy! He said he can never be a house-husband. Anyway, because I cannot strain myself for the time being, he’s still the only one carrying M around. To prepare for his absence after he returns to work, we’ve been trying to get M to walk more on her own and also getting her to climb on stools to reach the toilet seat, wash basin etc. She prefers to be carried naturally but hopefully she’ll be cooperative when required.

As Matt returned to work yesterday, we made some adjustments to her routine. We are sending her to school earlier in the morning as daddy needs to come along to carry her in and out of her car seat and to the school doorstep. In the evenings, Ah Gong will be coming along to do that.

According to my gynae, she would usually dish out a 1-month medical leave for patients who undergo a similar surgery. Since I’m not working, there wasn’t even a need to lift a pen. And I’m kinda back at work, barely 2 weeks after my surgery. But lucky for me, M is currently attending full-day childcare and my parents live nearby and are always ready to lend a helping hand

Happy Children’s Day!

There were definitely good reasons to celebrate this year’s Children’s Day. Firstly, M has had a wonderful month. Her flu/ cough condition that has plagued her for nearly 6 months improved significantly. At the same time, we went back to KKH for her review last week and were told she does not need to take any more of her anti-allergic medication! Yeah…

On Children’s Day, I took my first day of annual leave since starting work as M’s school was closed for the day. It felt a little weird, going through the routine I was so used to as a SAHM. After breakfast, I brought M to the supermarket, got some stuff, cooked lunch (1st time in 2 months), shower her, put her to bed for her nap, do the laundry etc…

And Oct 1 happens to my mum’s birthday too! So after M’s nap, we went to Ang Mo Kio to buy a cake and then went over to my mum’s place for a simple celebration. Nice

And Matt was particularly happy that day too. He was relieved of his “daddy” duties and could work late for once!

It’s amazing how the simplest things in life can make us so happy

Taking the plunge!

As M settled well into full-day childcare and left me free at home, I started to explore opportunities to return to work. My ideal was a part-time position that’s outside the home (enough staying home!) but I soon realised that options were rather limited.

At the same time, I was presented with a few interesting full-time opportunities. I reckon nobody wants to see a full-time headcount being reduced, especially since headcounts are usually easier to be cut than increased. So I either have to stick my head in or continue to stay home for an extended period.

And as I went through the interview process for one opportunity, I got cold feet about returning to work. One of my biggest concern is of course whether I would be able to balance the needs of both family and work. But after pondering on it for several days and nights, I feel I’m ready to face my fears and move on.

M is after all not an infant anymore. At 3+, she’s gradually becoming more independent and is able to express her needs and wants. She is also more of a social being now compared to a newborn who demands undivided attention. While I have no regrets staying home over the past 3 years, I’m not sure I’ll still feel the same way if I continue to do so. I can’t deny getting excited about doing something new

And since I may not be lucky a second time, I decided to size the day. Recent events in my life definitely made my return to the workforce sooner than I expected.\ Whatever the case, I’ve had a nice long break and I’m ready for the plunge!

Going in peace…

Some people say it’s morbid but I prefer to make plans for my family in case I have to leave this world before them. Over the past few months, I’ve summarised our household’s financial situation – mainly our assets and liabilities. During the exercise, we also reviewed our insurance needs with our financial consultant. The only thing left to do was writing a will so we can name our executors, beneficiaries and guardians for M, in case we have to go before she reaches adulthood.

The Intestate Succession Act applies in situations when a person dies without a will (intestate) or if the will left behind is incomplete. It governs who gets the deceased’s estate in what proportion and who can manage the estate. Personally, I think that if either me or Matt were to go first, it may not be a big issue dying intestate. However, it can get complicated if the worst scenario should happen, i.e. both of us dying together. *Touch wood*

In most cases, family members apply to be executors of the deceased’s estate as well as guardians of the deceased’s children. But we would rather save them the anguish of having to make those tough decisions on our behalf. Dying testate (with a will) also gives us peace of mind that M will be in good hands in the event that we can’t be there for her.

And the price of this peace of mind – $920 for the 2 of us!

SAHM to FTWM: a sea change!

Finally got time to pen some thoughts. It’s been a hectic month for our family, trying to adjust our daily routine to accommodate my move back to the workforce. Contrary to what many think, the move has impacted Matt most among the three of us.

M is pretty well settled in full-day care so she is in fact the least affected. Apart from being picked up later from school in the evenings, her daily routine hasn’t changed very much. Well, she cried a fair bit in the first week when she woke up in the mornings to find that mummy had already left for work but she got used to it fairly quickly.

As for me, it has been surprising easy except for trying to stay awake the whole day (no more afternoon naps!). LOL. Being in a new job in a new industry has definitely energised me in a some ways. Due my absence from home, Matt has had to step in to handle most of M’s daily routine and the household chores.

And hence he’s been complaining about the ‘hardship’ he’s going through. Well, I wish I could help out more but the hours I’m away really does not allow me to do so. We’re exploring options to lighten Matt’s responsibilities, including hiring a domestic helper.

So, people have been asking if I’ve been missing M now that I’m working full-time. The answer is ‘yes, but I miss my personal time even more!’ In my non-working hours, should I catch up on things I enjoy or should I spend the commonly termed ‘quality’ time with M? That must be the biggest dilemma for every FTWM!

Gotta go…

The real Africa…

As the recent World Cup showcased the best of South Africa, I can’t help being affected by the contrast presented in 2 articles in the June 14 and 28 issues of TIME magazine about the plight of women and children in other parts of impoverished Africa.

Authored by Alice Park, The Perils of Pregnancy: One Woman’s Tale of Dying to Give Birth tells of how a woman in Sierra Leone lost her life at age 18 after giving birth to a pair of twins due to the lack of medical services. According to the article, “… childbirth remain among the leading causes of death of woman worldwide; every day, one woman per minute dies while giving birth or soon after.” The pictures in the article were especially disturbing, including the 18 year-old’s final moments.

The next article, Battling A Scourge by Alex Perry, is about how the children of a small town in Uganda – Apac suffers from malaria, where “almost 90% of malaria victims are children under 5”. It’s hard to imagine raising kids in these extreme conditions, and reminds me again of how fortunate we are to live in Singapore.

So, there is always two sides to every story…

Arty Farty…

We brought M to the Singapore Arts Museum – Art Garden exhibition recently. It is housed in a new building a short distance from the main museum – SAM at 8 Queen Street. It was a rainy weekday afternoon and perfect for an indoor activity like this. Apart from a group of school children, there were not many visitors and so we enjoyed lotsa space.

As promised by their advertisement, the exhibits were designed to interest children. There were motion picture/ animation as well interactive exhibits. M especially enjoyed the Funky Forest,Daisies and Enchanted Forest exhibits where she could run around and were be engaged. She did not appreciate the motion picture/ animation as much, especially the Ringmaster, which had fighting scenes and monsters. Personally, I thought the Floribots exhibit was most intriguing.

We covered all the exhibits leisurely in about 2 hours. Definitely a fun activity for the family. Children under 6 enjoy free admission with every paying adult. It’s ending its run this week, so catch it before its too late!

Skin prick test….

M went for her skin prick test at KK Hospital last week and the results showed she has developed mild allergies towards some common foods and environment factors. She tested positive in varying small degrees to all 13 items – 4 environment and 9 food, including house and dust mite, cockroach, cat hair, cow’s milk, soy milk, egg (whole), egg (white), peanut, sesame seed, wheat, fish, shellfish.

Her allergic reactions are considered mild. The paediatrician said that there is no need to abstain from the food items because she needs a balanced diet but that we should give them less frequent and not in big amounts. We had been suspecting her allergy to cow’s milk and have switched her to goat’s milk for about three months now. But the other food items kinda surprised us. Both Matt and I are ok with them, except for shellfish, which occasionally causes some itch.

M was actually very afraid of the test. We had earlier bought her a book on asthma to help explain why she needs the inhaler to breathe in her medicine (Ventolin). In the book, allergies and the skin prick test were also mentioned. She even asked if the test was painful. So, when we told her we’re going to bring her for the test, she was resistant.

But the lab technicians at KK were very prepared – with DVD player, sweets and stickers. They also showed respect for the patient by always informing them what they were going to do beforehand. Although we still had to physically restrain M while the technician conduct the test, I think their approach helped minimise whatever anguish she felt. For example, when the technician had to draw some dots on M’s back with a pen in order to take measurements, she told M ‘see, I’m going to draw a smiley face only, it won’t be painful’. M wittily responded with ‘No, angry face, not smiley face’.

After the visit, we decided we must minimise her intake of processed foods, including sweets and biscuits, which we’re guilty of using as rewards often for being co-operative. These foods usually contain milk, egg, wheat flour. As for the environmental factors, we’ll keep her room and bedding items as clean as possible. But we have less control outside…

Still, M has to continue with another 3 more months of the anti-allergic medication – ketotifen before her next review!

Happy birthday, daddy!

Last week, we celebrated both Matt’s birthday and Fathers’ Day. Matt’s birthday was 2 days ahead of Fathers’ Day and it was actually the first time M was meaningfully involved. She went to school as usual that day while we headed to Dempsey Hill for a rare meal together – early lunch at the PS Cafe. After that, we caught a movie before picking M up for dinner

We made the mistake of letting her know we’ll get daddy’s birthday cake after dinner, as she turned out to be disinterested in her dinner. She did not eat much but since it’s a special occasion, we decided to let it go. We went to the Icing Room (another Breadtalk outfit) at Compass Point to get a ‘Decorate-it-Yourself’ cake. We had passed by once and thought it’ll be fun for M.

So, M was excited from start to stop. After I showed her how to squeeze the icing out, she was pretty much on her own. She certainly had her own idea of how the cake should look like and she can’t help tasting the icing packs. The final product was far from pretty in my opinion but it did not matter to daddy.

Fun aside, the vanilla cake we got was not exactly tasty. Not surprising since it was a normal sponge cake with a thick layer of cream on the outside; there were a few pieces of preserved fruit in between and that was about it. Not forgetting of course the heap of icing and sugar toppings on top, courtesy of M. Well, I guess it’s not the cake you’re after when you choose something like that.

Two days later on Fathers’ Day, I was trying to get M to wish Matt “Happy Fathers’ Day” but she kept insisting “No, it’s Happy Birthday!” Ever since then, she’s been bugging us about when my birthday is. I wonder when she’ll get enough of birthdays!

Schoolhouse by the garden… 6 months on…

M has now attended 3 months of the half-day programme and 3+ months of the full-day programme atSchoolhouse by the garden. With the exception that she’s falling sick more often, we are happy with the school so far. The class size has grown from 8 in Dec 2008 to 12 now. With two teachers, one local English teacher and one PRC Chinese teacher, class management still seems manageable.

Just a couple weeks back, we met up with the teachers during the annual Meet-the-Parents session and were presented with an evaluation of M’s developmental progress. One observation shared by the teachers is M’s positive learning attitude. She’s always keen on hands-on activities and very attentive during story telling sessions. However, both noted that she’s always distracted during flashcard sessions. Oops! I wonder if I caused that with all the Glenn Doman flashcards when she was younger.

According to the teachers, M is also generally cooperative and very aware of the good behaviour that is expected of her. For example, she’ll say “Teacher M, I never run”. With regards to interaction with her peers, she’s willing to share toys but does not like anyone to touch her bedding items. As for her likes and dislikes, she loves getting her hands dirty during arts and craft and cookery classes but dislikes rough play and getting water in her eyes during water play.

We’re happy with her development so far and we continue to like the school environment and community. The management updates parents with monthly newsletters, each term’s curriculum and documentation of class activities. M has been happy with school except for a short period of time when she had a change of teacher.

All in all, a good 6 months and its a thumb’s up for us!

A first for the family!

A couple of weeks back, our family tried kite flying for the first time and it was fun!

Somehow, both Matt and I have not tried kite flying through our childhood and adulthood. Anyway, we’ve passed by the open field around Sengkang several times and seen lots of people enjoying kite flying. And every time, we kept saying we have to do it one day. I finally got my act together and remembered to buy a kite on one of my shopping trips.

Our first attempt was on a Sunday morning. Not a good idea, we realised. We were the only souls on the field, the sun was scorching and there was not much of wind. we can’t help laughing at ourselves! Nonetheless, we gave it a go and managed to get the kite up into the sky. Not bad for a start. M got really excited about letting out the line and watching the kite soar higher and higher. But we couldn’t last long in that weather and called it a day pretty soon.

Our second attempt was definitely more enjoyable. It was a cooling Saturday evening, the perfect weather. We reached the field just before 6pm and there were lots of people there already. The wind condition was ideal and the kite soared without effort. In fact, we let the line out to the maximum in no time. M was more interested in people and kite watching this time. We bought another smaller kite thinking that M may be able to attempt on her own but it did not work well. The other professionals and their kites there proved more intriguing for her.

The best part of this activity is that its free! A rarity in Singapore… And we’ll be returning again soon!

Small kid, big bed…

M has finally moved out of her cot. We have been thinking about moving her to a single bed for a while but was afraid we won’t be able to manage her new-found freedom during bedtime. Hence, we’ve procrastinated the move till 2 weeks ago. Well, we did not have a choice, she has doubled her birth length and there isn’t much space allowance for her in the cot anymore.

We decided to get her a bed with a pull-out at the bottom so we can sleep with her when she’s not well. We eventually picked one cream-coloured divan bed where the top mattress is a super-single and the bottom a single. To prevent her from falling off the bed, we got her a bed rail. And since we can’t stop her from getting off the bed, we fixed a safety gate at her bedroom doorframe so she can be kept safely in her room.

The transition turned out easier than we thought. She was very excited about the ‘graduation’ and kept jumping on the bed when it arrived 2 Saturdays ago. That night, we kept to her usual bedtime routine closely and she actually did not attempt to get down after we switched off the lights and left her room. Wonderful, we thought! Perhaps she had been so used to being confined to her cot.

The next morning, we found her sitting in front of the gate waiting for one of us to pick her up. I think that was when she realised why the gate was there. After that, she refuses to let anyone lock it. We still do it after she falls asleep. Besides trying to avoid the bad habit of running into our bed, we really don’t want her to run into danger while we’re asleep, especially in the kitchen.

It’s interesting how ‘big’ she seemed in the cot then and how ‘small’ she now seems in the super single bed. Still a baby nonetheless…

Tourist along Orchard Road

With time on my side, I made a few shopping trips to Orchard over the past 2 weeks. And just like someone who hasn’t been there before, I felt lost. On one trip, I stepped out of Somerset MRT station and was taken aback by the surrounding, the brand new 313@Somerset. Wow, nice and cool… no more of that hot and stuffy covered walkway.

On another trip, I was making my way from Orchard MRT station to Forum. I went up the escalator leading to the junction of Orchard Road and Paterson Road only to find out that pedestrian crossing is no longer allowed there. No wonder the signage along the way kept showing the way to the ‘Ion-Paterson Linkway’. And so I had to backtrack.

Time has been such a luxury for me as a SAHM over the past three years that I’ve given up window shopping. Most of my shopping trips are quick and purposeful. And since I do not need to dress up, there was little need to shop really, with neighbourhood malls my most frequent destination. Even until now, I’ve not gone round Ion even once, only covering sections of it while getting around.

And I thought I knew Singapore’s favourite shopping belt well. I worked around Orchard for 2 years in my first job, spending my spare lunch-times window shopping. And in my second job, I ‘studied’ the award of the land parcels that Ion and 313@Someset now sits on. Well, I guess all that are history.

Because I feel just like a tourist along Orchard Road now.

Little Miss Chatterbox

M’s language skills has been developing very fast ever since she turned 3. She has no problem communicating her feelings and needs most of the time. At the same time, her character and individualism is showing up more now, like acquiring her own sense of humour.

Just last night, after she finished her milk feed before bedtime, she covered her mouth with the bottle’s cap and pointed her empty bottle at us, shouting “Fire!” She was pretending to be a fire-fighter. It was amusing but I tried to control my laughter as I did not want her to do it. I kept saying “Cover your bottle, I don’t want your milk to drip out!” But I guess control our laughter gave us away and she kept doing it. Then she asked us “Is it funny?”

She’s surprising us more and more with what she says. Recently, while we were waiting for Matt to get food at a food court, she was watching a cleaner clear a table nearby. She said “Mummy, this auntie is very sad.” I was pleasantly surprised she was able to observe the cleaner’s mood and took the chance to explain that a cleaner’s job is very tough and that we should keep the tables clean to make their job easier. Towards the end of the meal, she noticed another cleaner and said “This uncle is not sad.” This time, it was a male cleaner who did not look as tired and jaded as the one we saw earlier.

Besides expressing her thoughts and feelings more openly now, she is definitely more demanding of late. And we can’t even feign ignorance anymore. She is even capable of telling us when she’s unhappy with us! Managing her expectations and demands is a big challenge for us now and it’s somewhat different from the ‘terrible twos’ issues because then, they are still not able to fully express themselves. I guess this challenge is not going to get any easier as she grows older.

Anyway, we’re enjoying her even more now. It’s such a joy hearing her talk about her day at school. She even imitates the way some teachers talk. Sometimes, she’ll keep talking at bedtime because she doesn’t want us to leave her room.

She certainly knows her stuff!

Full-day or half-day?

That’s the question I’ve been asking myself almost on a daily basis now. We started M on the full-day programme at Schoolhouse by the Garden in March when I had my surgery and it’s coming to 2 months. I feel about 80% now and I believe another month should be enough for me to feel 100%, or maybe 95%.

Question now is do we switch M back to the half-day programme after that? That was our original plan. But she seems so well-adjusted to the full-day programme that I wonder if she would display any resistance to the switch. One other big consideration is of course, cost. Since I’m not a working mum, I am not entitled to the $300 childcare subsidy offered by MCYS to working mums. Our subsidy is capped at $150 and the full-day programme costs us $680 a month.

That leads us to the next question – Should I get a job so we qualify for that $300 subsidy? This is a much harder question to answer. Depending on the nature of the job, there is bound to be logistical issues we need to iron out. Although one would only need to work 56 hours to qualify as a working mum under MCYS’s regulation, such jobs are hard to come by. Somehow, Singapore has just not caught on in the aspect of flexible work and job sharing. Most jobs I would consider are still offered on a full-time basis – about 160 hours a month (assume 8 hours a day and 20 working days a month).

Friends have suggested I be a property agent, insurance agent or financial advisor, tuition teacher or even cashier or sales staff at retail or F&B stores. I’m really not sure. I really enjoy the luxury of time I have currently. M can take forever to get ready for school on some days and I can afford to be patient in coaxing her because I’m not rushing for work. Then in the afternoons, I can pick her up as early as 4.30pm so we still have some time together before dinner preparations and we do not need to rush through the evenings.

Ultimately, most pin it down to money – Can we afford this lifestyle? Because time is really money!

Our plastic way of life

It’s amazing how plastic has crept into our lives. In fact, I cannot imagine life without it anymore. Recently, an article I read in the April 12 issue of the TIME magazine – ‘The Perils of Plastic’ by Bryan Walsh made me re-think the use of plastic in our home. The content of the article is not new, essentially about the danger of various chemicals from the wide use of plastic in our lives can pose a danger to us, especially young children. But we really need these reminders from time to time.

The picture of two kids in front of their bowls of cereal and a jug of drink struck me how our decisions as parents can make a difference in our children’s future. Plastic has been really useful, especially for parents of young children who love to throw their toys, milk bottles and utensils around. I recall when I first heard about the danger of the chemical, bisphenol A (BPA) sometime in 2008, BPA free milk bottles were not even available in most retail stores.

Some people I know switched to glass bottles but I did not. Reason being we had stopped sterilizing M’s bottles by then and since BPA can leak into milk only at high temperatures, I did not see a need to switch. Also, M was able to hold her own bottle while drinking and she has a tendency to throw her bottle around after that. Above all, I could not be sure all her drinking and eating utensils were BPA free too, especially when we eat out or pack food home.

But reading the article and all the potential danger of chemicals such as PVC and BPA, I can’t help wondering if that is still the right decision. BPA is a synthetic estrogen that can cause potentially cause serious reproductive problems for females. According to the article, Canada and Denmark are the only countries to have banned BPA milk bottles.

At the same time, manufacturers have responded and BPA free milk and drinking bottles are now more widely available, though at around 30-50% price premium. I’ve even noticed some toys labelled PVC and PBA free. The question that comes often to my mind is – Is it really necessary? Well, it’s an answer that will perhaps take governments a lot longer to answer because producers of the chemicals will argue that they are safe in small amounts.

But like mentioned in the article, thresholds can be a really tricky question. As consumers, we often have to make decisions without the full set of information. I looked around our home to see how we can minimise M’s exposure of these dangerous chemicals and I have the feeling it’s not going to be an easy task.

Nonetheless, I took the first step of getting her BPA free milk bottles!

Living on drugs…

If it’s difficult having a sick child at home, it’s worse when both parent and child are sick. Last week, my sore throat turned into a bad cough. In fact, I cough just like M and it’s driving Matt crazy having to take care of us both. Needless to say, visits to the doctors became our most frequent outings.

M’s on-and-off cough has now gone on for months and it’s really tiring us out. We’re trying both western medicine and Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) but things seem to be progressing too slowly. We actually made an appointment for M to get a skin prick test at KK but was not able to do it because she had some anti-histamine couple of days ago. The test has been rescheduled to 3 months later and we went home with 3 months worth of an anti-allergic drug – ketotifen.

Coughing now is umpteen times more painful (around my abdomen area) than usual because of my surgery. I almost have to crouch down every time I cough to minimise the pain. I even wonder if my wound might rupture because it can get so painful!

Just can’t wait to get well!

Our preschooler…

Last week, M turned 3! And fortunately, I was well enough to celebrate with her in school. It was her first time celebrating with friends since her last two birthdays were spent with our families. It was also the first time she chose her cake – a baby blue cake with a train on top, which surprised us. I thought she would have chosen with pinky or princess-themed picture.

Anyway, we celebrated her birthday 2 days early as her school will be closed on her birthday. Since I’m always the one finishing her friends’ birthday party packs, I decided not to give them out. Instead,I baked some cookies and made some balloon dogs (just from watching youtube videos). So each friend received oatmeal, raisin and choc cookies, a yogurt drink and a balloon – nothing else.

Matt and I arrived at her school around 10am. The teachers brought the students into a classroom and got them to sit around a table. Next was lighting the candles, singing the birthday song and blowing out the candles. And then eating the cake. Since the students were supposed to have lunch pretty soon after that, the teachers gave them small servings. Because one of the student had an ‘accident’ – pee in her pants, the teachers were kept busy for a while. And after the children finished their cake, they lined up to wash hands and go for lunch.

A very short affair, really. Maybe because we did not prepare any activities too. Anyway, M was happy and that was enough. We said goodbye to M and she was ok… Even her principle was surprised she did not attempt to follow us. We decided to let her stay on so we can catch up on some rest and couple time. Keke…

On her birthday, we brought her to the zoo in the morning. We were really lucky that it only rained around the time we left. In the evening, Ah-ma brought cousin S over to play and have dinner. It was always challenging managing the girls. Nonetheless, it was a good experience to teach M about sharing her toys.

Now, will someone tell me what comes after the ‘terrible two’ year?

Good riddance…

I had just gone through my much dreaded surgery to remove the 2 fibroids in my uterus. The larger fibroid has continued growing over the past one over year, leaving me with little choice but to have them removed.

My surgery was scheduled early in the morning at 7.45am and I had to admit by 5.45am. Besides having to get up early, I had to take an oral laxative (Fleet) the previous night to clear my bowels which caused me to have the runs till past 1am. l was also not allowed to eat and drink after midnight. Hence, I was groggy when I reached the hospital – Thomson Medical Centre.

As we waited and prepared for the operation, I got more nervous. I was also worried than I won’t be able to take the pain after hearing about how painful it can get. It was such a terrible feeling being pushed into the operating theatre. Once there, it was so cold that I started to shiver. The nurses piled another blanket on me but it did not help.

The anaesthetist came first to prepare me for general anaesthesia. My gynae arrived next, said hello and “have a good sleep and you’ll wake up without your fibroids”. I was given an oxygen mask and told to take deep breadths as the anaesthetist injected a syringe of drug into me, sending stinging pain up my forearm. A few more breadths and I blacked out.

The surgery took an hour or so, after which they transferred me to the recovery room. I can recall flashes of the anaesthetist shaking me to wake me up. Then a few more flashes of nurses pushing me back to the ward and transferring me onto the bed. All that done by 10am.

I was drowsy the rest of the day, drifting in and out of sleep. My throat felt so dry and was allowed only to take sips of water to prevent me from vomiting. I finally had my first drink – a cup of Milo around 5pm. Dinner – fish porridge was served later but I had no appetite, took just 2 mouths.

My gynae visited and showed me a photo of the larger fibroid. Gory! She said that the fibroid actually felt soft instead of hard, indicating that it may be degenerating due to lack of blood supply. Hmm… Anyway, we know that fibroids can recur again. So we should ideally try for a baby soon as I recover. Gynae said one patient of hers who got pregnant 2 months after her surgery already had new fibroids growing again! But at least they are small and not likely to affect the foetus.

I felt much better the day after the surgery. I was taken off the drip and they also removed the urine bag. I took my first steps after breakfast and some painkillers. Getting off the bed was the most challenging and walking got progressively easier as the day went on. Pretty soon I was able to go to the toilet unassisted.

Because of this surgery, we decided over the weekend that M should extend her half-day programme to full-day programme so I can recover without any worries. She started the day of the surgery and so far so good. Matt brought her to visit me after dinner on both nights. Although we had explained to her that mummy will not be able to carry her for a while, she still tried to get me to carry her, crying and throwing tantrums to get her way.

Overall, we had mixed feelings about the stay at TMC. M was delivered at Mt Alvernia Hospital. I would say that TMC scored better in terms of physical room facilities since they look recently renovated. But service wise, they failed to impress me. They seemed rather disorganised – one nurse came in asking where’s my baby, another came in with an x-ray asking me if I’m the person listed on the envelope, 2 management staff came in asking for our feedback not knowing when and why I was there, one staff came in asking if I’m having lunch just before we left. Shouldn’t they have known these things even before they knocked at the door? Also, the discharge took longer than expected. We were ready around 10am but had to wait for the cashier who showed up around noon. Add the exorbitant parking and we really have doubts if we’ll choose it a second time.

Anyway, I’m finally home and still taking baby steps. Crossing my fingers that the fibroids will be gone for good.

I feel discriminated!

According to Dictionary.com, the meaning of discrimination is as follows:

“treatment or consideration of, or making a distinction in favor of or against, a person or thing based on the group, class, or category to which that person or thing belongs rather than on individual merit”

A person can be discriminated against his/her age, gender, race etc. As a SAHM (aka non-working mother), I belong to a minority group of mothers who can’t help feeling discriminated against sometimes. Other than disapproval from those who believe we should be contributing to the economy, we’re also disadvantaged with regards to government subsidy and tax rebates.

Take child care subsidy for example. Non-working and working mothers enjoy equal subsidy of $150 for half-day programmes. However, for full-day programmes, working mothers enjoy a subsidy of $300 while the subsidy is capped at $150 for non-working mothers. Why? The answer from the MCYS website as follows:

“The main intent of the child care subsidy is to support mothers who need to put their children in child care centres as they continue to work. If a mother is not working, she is encouraged to be the main caregiver, and attendance at child care centres would be supplementary. Hence she is entitled to a smaller subsidy.”

Well honestly, I do not disagree with the answer given. After all, that’s what I’ve been doing for the past 3 years – being M’s primary caregiver. But as we make plans for a second child, we realise how the above answer does not address needs of SAHMs with more than one kid.

One must work 56 hours a month to qualify as a working mother. That’s around 3 hours a day, given a 20-day work month. Doesn’t sound that bad right?

Guess that’s the whole intent. To drive us back into the work force.

There we go again… GDP still has precedence over birth rate…

Yummy New Year!

Chinese New Year (CNY) has to be about food, food and food. A lot of the significance of this festival to me is linked to the food we eat around this period. Growing up in an extended family, this most important festival to Chinese is also my favourite. And it’s got to do with how my Teochew family celebrated it when I was young.

Besides spring-cleaning every nook and cranny of a 2-storey terrace house (an enormous task for the household of 14 people), the food preparation leading up to the festival is also a very memorable one. I always tag along whenever my mum goes about her marketing and really enjoy the air of festivity at wet markets late at night – CNY is the only time they stay open this late. My mum and aunt home-made dishes like ngor hiang (seafood rolls), kay koy (vegetarian duck), cheng teng (a dessert) and even bake kueh bahru (a snack) the traditional way with metal moulds and charcoal fire.

After the reunion dinner where my other uncles and their families will join us, all the kids would line up to receive our angbaos from my grandfather. We had to say a festive greeting in order to get it. On the first day of CNY, we kids had to offer festive greetings to all adults first thing in the morning. After that, it’s a busy 2 days of receiving guests and then visiting relatives, which means lots of pok-chwee (carbonated drinks), sweets, snacks and of course angbaos!

Even though we no longer celebrate it to the same extend as in the past (after the passing of my grandparents), I still look forward to this festival every year. I hope M will enjoy it as much as I do and I’ve been telling her about CNY as we go around. Last week, we put up some CNY decorations while she was in school and when she reach the door, she asked “Mummy, why is there a sticker on the door? It’s upside-down??” It was an inverted 福 with pictures of a boy and girl.

She even surprised me with “恭禧发财”the other day, I asked her who taught her and she said 老师. Yesterday, she held two mandarin oranges together and said “恭禧恭禧”. She can even sing part of the “恭禧,恭禧,恭禧你啊”song!

How fun… I’m looking forward to bringing her around already!

新年快乐!