Is it worth it?

A few weeks ago, someone asked me this question, which I guess applies to every mum and rightfully every parent. In essence, the question is – Is it worth trading our time for money?

Since my ‘bold’ return to the work force, I spend around 12 hours a day at work (excluding travelling time) five days a week. It’s longer hours than most jobs but pretty normal in this field of work. And let’s just say the money does make up for it to some extent.

Let me first start with what I’m missing out on a typical working day. I’m usually out of the house before M wakes up so I do not go through her morning routine – milk, potty, change, breakfast, send her to school. In the evenings I usually reach home just before her bedtime, so I do not pick her up from school, prepare her dinner, feed her and shower her. The only part of her daily routine I’m still involved is reading her a bedtime story and staying in bed with her till she falls asleep, which may mean the whole night sometimes because I’m just too tired to move! So, from around 6 hours of interaction time to less than 1 hour!

Well for me, the only silver lining is that Matt & I are kinda in a role reversal situation. He is now ‘replacing’ me in those hours that I’m not around. And after 3 months, even he agrees that daddy and daughter are now ‘closer’ than before, something I’m not complaining about! And of course I try to maximise the weekends and keep it strictly for family.

But honestly, I dun think I can answer that question till say at least 10 years later… when I can appreciate the consequences of our decisions today. But its still a good question to constantly ask ourselves, especially us parents. Every child has only 1 childhood and decisions we make will affect the memories we create with them that will last them a lifetime.

Tough… that’s what happens when time becomes a commodity!

Taking the plunge!

As M settled well into full-day childcare and left me free at home, I started to explore opportunities to return to work. My ideal was a part-time position that’s outside the home (enough staying home!) but I soon realised that options were rather limited.

At the same time, I was presented with a few interesting full-time opportunities. I reckon nobody wants to see a full-time headcount being reduced, especially since headcounts are usually easier to be cut than increased. So I either have to stick my head in or continue to stay home for an extended period.

And as I went through the interview process for one opportunity, I got cold feet about returning to work. One of my biggest concern is of course whether I would be able to balance the needs of both family and work. But after pondering on it for several days and nights, I feel I’m ready to face my fears and move on.

M is after all not an infant anymore. At 3+, she’s gradually becoming more independent and is able to express her needs and wants. She is also more of a social being now compared to a newborn who demands undivided attention. While I have no regrets staying home over the past 3 years, I’m not sure I’ll still feel the same way if I continue to do so. I can’t deny getting excited about doing something new

And since I may not be lucky a second time, I decided to size the day. Recent events in my life definitely made my return to the workforce sooner than I expected.\ Whatever the case, I’ve had a nice long break and I’m ready for the plunge!

SAHM to FTWM: a sea change!

Finally got time to pen some thoughts. It’s been a hectic month for our family, trying to adjust our daily routine to accommodate my move back to the workforce. Contrary to what many think, the move has impacted Matt most among the three of us.

M is pretty well settled in full-day care so she is in fact the least affected. Apart from being picked up later from school in the evenings, her daily routine hasn’t changed very much. Well, she cried a fair bit in the first week when she woke up in the mornings to find that mummy had already left for work but she got used to it fairly quickly.

As for me, it has been surprising easy except for trying to stay awake the whole day (no more afternoon naps!). LOL. Being in a new job in a new industry has definitely energised me in a some ways. Due my absence from home, Matt has had to step in to handle most of M’s daily routine and the household chores.

And hence he’s been complaining about the ‘hardship’ he’s going through. Well, I wish I could help out more but the hours I’m away really does not allow me to do so. We’re exploring options to lighten Matt’s responsibilities, including hiring a domestic helper.

So, people have been asking if I’ve been missing M now that I’m working full-time. The answer is ‘yes, but I miss my personal time even more!’ In my non-working hours, should I catch up on things I enjoy or should I spend the commonly termed ‘quality’ time with M? That must be the biggest dilemma for every FTWM!

Gotta go…