Extinction of SAHGs

I’ve met many stay-at-home-grandmas (SAHGs). My mum is one – she is the primary caregiver of my niece. Some relatives and neighbours are in the same position. When I attend classes with M, there are some kids who are accompanied by their grandparents too.

If I did not stop work before getting pregnant, I believe my first choice of caregiver for M would be my mum. The reason is simple – I trust her. Hence, grandmas are usually preferred over domestic helpers and childcare providers.

But with the Singapore government’s efforts to get the elderly out of the house and in the workforce by pushing back the official retirement age and introducing financial incentives like Workfare, I foresee the extinction of this group of preferred childminders in the near future.

Separately, I sometimes wonder if it is fair to transfer the responsibility of taking care of our kids back to our parents, who have been there and done that, some 30 years ago. I seriously doubt I will enjoy being a parent again 30 years later. So why would my mum? I bet she wish she was still working, enjoying her financial reward and having her freedom and social life.

Of course, the little ones bring a lot of joy to the grandparents, but a full-time job taking care of their basic needs is no fun at all. I see this grandma around the neighbourhood pretty often who is always with a girl around the age of 5 and another boy in a stroller around 1. She walks very slowly with a limp and I always feel so sorry for her because she just doesn’t look happy at all.

You might argue that a domestic helper will solve the problem. I’m not sure. They bring with them another set of issues… So yes, I’ll like my mum to babysit M sometimes. But no, I chose not to go back to full-time work, which would mean hiring a domestic helper and leaving them with my mum during the day.

And I have to say no regrets!