Best baby invention!

Against the wishes of environmentalists, I have to say that the best baby invention has to be disposable diapers! I just can’t imagine how mothers survived without them in the past.

Like most mothers in Singapore, I left the hospital with M and a pack of Pampers. And there’s not a single day since then that we’re without disposable diapers. When I’m out with M, I’ll carry 2 spare ones. At any one time, I’ll have at least 2 packets at home because I stock them when they are on sale.

And the 2 main reasons why I bestowed the title to disposable diapers:

1) Disposable diapers have definitely brought about the ‘mobility’ of babies. Can you imagine an outing or even a holiday with a baby on cloth nappies? Impossible, in my opinion.

2) Disposable diapers allow babies and mothers to sleep through the night earlier. Children generally start potty training around the age of 2 and even later for night-time control. It’ll be torturous to live with disrupted sleep for so long because of the need for nappy change!

As with most things, the convenience of disposable comes with a price, to us parents and to the environment. So do try to potty train your children as soon as they are ready and communicating well. M was potty-trained for her bowel movement before she turned one.

At 28 months old now, she is diaper-free in the day and is comfortable using the toilet seat. She still needs to be diapered when she sleeps and when we’re out because there just aren’t many kiddy toilets around.

And we are certainly looking forward to the day M can go without them!

Extinction of SAHGs

I’ve met many stay-at-home-grandmas (SAHGs). My mum is one – she is the primary caregiver of my niece. Some relatives and neighbours are in the same position. When I attend classes with M, there are some kids who are accompanied by their grandparents too.

If I did not stop work before getting pregnant, I believe my first choice of caregiver for M would be my mum. The reason is simple – I trust her. Hence, grandmas are usually preferred over domestic helpers and childcare providers.

But with the Singapore government’s efforts to get the elderly out of the house and in the workforce by pushing back the official retirement age and introducing financial incentives like Workfare, I foresee the extinction of this group of preferred childminders in the near future.

Separately, I sometimes wonder if it is fair to transfer the responsibility of taking care of our kids back to our parents, who have been there and done that, some 30 years ago. I seriously doubt I will enjoy being a parent again 30 years later. So why would my mum? I bet she wish she was still working, enjoying her financial reward and having her freedom and social life.

Of course, the little ones bring a lot of joy to the grandparents, but a full-time job taking care of their basic needs is no fun at all. I see this grandma around the neighbourhood pretty often who is always with a girl around the age of 5 and another boy in a stroller around 1. She walks very slowly with a limp and I always feel so sorry for her because she just doesn’t look happy at all.

You might argue that a domestic helper will solve the problem. I’m not sure. They bring with them another set of issues… So yes, I’ll like my mum to babysit M sometimes. But no, I chose not to go back to full-time work, which would mean hiring a domestic helper and leaving them with my mum during the day.

And I have to say no regrets!

Lonely Mummy…

Life as a SAHM can be lonely at times… especially when I have to spend my birthday on my own (if you exclude a 2-year-old whose concept of a birthday is singing the birthday song, blowing out the candles and eating the cake!). My husband has been attending this particular conference in their US headquarters for the past 4 years, every time coinciding with my birthday. And it’s going to happen a fifth time next week!

Of course we can celebrate it some other time. And not that we really celebrate it in any special way, but it’s just nice to have him around. Actually, we’ve not celebrated my birthday together since we got married! I wonder if I have to wait till he leaves the firm to be able to do that…

Anyway, back to the real topic… So yes, if you spend the majority of your waking hours with a two-year-old, it can sometimes feel lonely, not to mention boring. Truth is: I’m usually too tired to even get a social life!

Besides that, I’ve gradually lost touch with the ‘outside’ world, having stopped work for a while. And inevitably losing some common topics with friends and ex-colleagues who are busy climbing the corporate ladder. Even though I don’t miss working, I do miss the regular social interaction with other adults. Nowadays, I make do with my parents and other Aunties around the neighbourhood. LOL.

I guess I’ve come to rely on my husband for my daily ‘downloads’. Afterall, who else would be interested to know what we did, ate etc every single day? So I have no choice but be ‘self-sufficient’ for one week. I’ve been through it and I’m sure I’ll be fine.

I just don’t like the thought of it!

Brainwerkz II

The experience at Little Neuro Tree turned out pretty well so far. M enjoys her classes and looks forward to it every week. Each 1-hour lesson is so packed with activities that I sometimes find it a tad too intensive.

One good thing is that I’ve managed to restart the flashcards at home although I’m doing it quite randomly now (whenever I remember and feel like). The advantage of flashing the cards in class is the kids (maximum of 6) are all seated with parents behind them and the teacher in front across the table. At home, M is always trying to snatch the cards away from me but she is usually one of the most attentive in class!

Each class typically also includes songs, memory games, activities for training fine motor skills, pretend play, learning about concepts like fast and slow etc. Hence, the pace of the class can be quite fast – good for kids who are easily distracted but not so good for kids like M who often need more time. I try to replicate some activities (putting beads through a wire, tearing and cutting paper) at home so she can take her own sweet time.

I definitely agree the class is not just for M. As a parent, I also get to learn about how to introduce some concepts to M and different games we can play with them at home. It’s true that some activities and concepts are covered in any typical playgroup curriculum. But parental involvement and 1-to-1 attention can enhance the learning experience.

It’s also true this once-a-week class don’t come cheap (to us). Come to think of it, we may never know if we are fools for spending this money

Brainwerkz I

So we did sign up for the programme after the talk (if you read my previous post). In fact, we are about to start our second term (12 weeks) with them. Anyway, here’s our journey so far…

I started reading up on Glenn Doman’s books first (when M was around 1 year old), starting with ‘How to teach your baby to read’ and ‘How to teach your baby Math’ and so on. I became aware of The Shichida Method around the same time. As there were no readily available reading material here, I ordered three of his books from Japan.

The power of the right brain amazed me enough to want to experiment on M. But I did not want to spend too much money such that my expectations will become unrealistically high. So I decided to go with the home-based Glenn Doman method. We first bought the English set from GD Baby. By the time I got started, M was 14 months and almost walking.

Not exactly the ideal time to start, but anyway I tried to flash the cards when she was ‘confined’, like when she’s on the potty or in the high-chair. Soon after, I started the Glenn Doman Math set but this time we bought the kit direct from US instead because it was a more basic set and cheaper even after shipping cost. M was not always interested in the cards, crawling away quite often.

I continued with the cards anyway. But as M was very easily distracted, I find myself flashing less cards and also less frequently. Occasionally, I stopped for a couple of weeks before starting again. I do not think we got very far really… definitely not like what others could achieve.

The flashcards slowly became forgotten and I stopped before M turned two. Then recently I was packing the flashcards and though if we should give them another try. Since I haven’t been too successful at home, I thought it could be time to seek some ‘expert’ help. As I’ve read quite a fair bit of negative feedback about the local Shichida franchise, I decided to go for another outfit, Little Neuro Tree. There is a relatively new outlet near our place.