Worry wart for the rest of my life?

I used to be quite a happy-go-lucky type of gal. Nothing really worried me excessively throughout my smooth sailing childhood-teens-early adulthood. But motherhood can really change our lives beyond our expectations. The worry wart must have started growing on me the day I found out I was pregnant. And its probably grown quite substantially over the past few years.

From the days of “Is the foetus growing well?” to “Is she eating enough?”, I have come to realise that I may never be able to get rid of the worry wart for the rest of my life. With a young kid, there’re just too many things to worry about!

To start with, M was/is a very small foetus & baby & toddler. At our detailed scan when I was 5 months pregnant, we were informed that M’s growth was behind her peers – her dimensions were actually below the growth chart, meaning she was below the 0 percentile! And with many charts flashing in front of us, we were informed that her laggard development was of a concern. The consultant in charge of the scan even mentioned the equivalent of a ‘vulgarity’ – abortion.

Silly as it sounds, I actually burst into tears there! After consulting my gynae, I went for an amniocentesis for peace of mind. Luckily, the test result came back favourable and she maintained a steady growth rate throughout the rest of her gestation, even though she continued to be small. But the amount of worry I went through during that hoax was unprecedented in my life!

Although that episode is now behind me, I’m still faced with many little worries about M. In any typical day, things I can worry include “Is she going to eat her food”, “Is she going to fuss during her shower?” Will she be cooperative during nap time?”, “If she doesn’t take her nap, is she going to be cranky during class?”, the list continues..

Fortunately, life with a lively and blissfully ignorant toddler can help one forget about the future sometimes and just live in the moment