English or Chinese?

We’ve been quite divided about the language we should use at home for some time. Although I grew up in a Mandarin and Teochew speaking family, school and work have made English a very natural part of me. During our dating and pre-kid days, my husband and I conversed mostly in English or Singlish.

When M came along, we started deliberating on the language we should use at home. Most parenting books recommended that one parent use one language in a two-language environment. Since I was more comfortable in Mandarin than my husband (who grew up in a Hokkein and English environment), we decided that I will converse with M in Chinese while husband converse with her in English.

But we found it really tough keeping to this arrangement. First of all, I honestly do not know the Chinese terms for a lot of words, quite a failure I think. My husband, on the other hand, often breaks into Mandarin or dialect in his conversations with M. And so we basically ended up speaking Singlish…

I looked at people around and found there were generally three different approaches. 1) English only – Rationale being it’s the first language in schools here and so mastering it still takes first priority. 2) Chinese only – because of the China’s emerging world status and that kids will definitely pick up English in school. 3) Whatever – parents in this category do not think any conscious effort is needed to keep to one language at home.

Anyway, here’s what we are doing now – English most of the time and Chinese (or dialect) with the grandparents. It’s just more convenient!