Is it worth it?

A few weeks ago, someone asked me this question, which I guess applies to every mum and rightfully every parent. In essence, the question is – Is it worth trading our time for money?

Since my ‘bold’ return to the work force, I spend around 12 hours a day at work (excluding travelling time) five days a week. It’s longer hours than most jobs but pretty normal in this field of work. And let’s just say the money does make up for it to some extent.

Let me first start with what I’m missing out on a typical working day. I’m usually out of the house before M wakes up so I do not go through her morning routine – milk, potty, change, breakfast, send her to school. In the evenings I usually reach home just before her bedtime, so I do not pick her up from school, prepare her dinner, feed her and shower her. The only part of her daily routine I’m still involved is reading her a bedtime story and staying in bed with her till she falls asleep, which may mean the whole night sometimes because I’m just too tired to move! So, from around 6 hours of interaction time to less than 1 hour!

Well for me, the only silver lining is that Matt & I are kinda in a role reversal situation. He is now ‘replacing’ me in those hours that I’m not around. And after 3 months, even he agrees that daddy and daughter are now ‘closer’ than before, something I’m not complaining about! And of course I try to maximise the weekends and keep it strictly for family.

But honestly, I dun think I can answer that question till say at least 10 years later… when I can appreciate the consequences of our decisions today. But its still a good question to constantly ask ourselves, especially us parents. Every child has only 1 childhood and decisions we make will affect the memories we create with them that will last them a lifetime.

Tough… that’s what happens when time becomes a commodity!

Back to work…

Well, one of the drawbacks of not working is that we do not get any leave, of any sort. A week after my surgery, I went back to my gynae to check on the wound. All’s well and the plaster is off. I can now see and feel the roughly 8am cut on my lower abdomen. The tests on the fibroids showed they were benign. Phew!

Physically, I feel much better and can move around with more ease. My abdomen area still feels sore though, as the cut muscles and tissues take time to heal. The stomach binder has been helpful in keeping ‘things’ together but wearing it under clothes can be unsightly. A couple of days ago, I tried not wearing it on a short shopping trip and felt that ‘hanging’ feeling. I’ve since found a better alternative – my mum’s girdles! And they worked perfectly without the bulkiness of the stomach binder

As I got better, I was able to help with simple chores around the house. Matt has been doing everything during this period and he’s going crazy! He said he can never be a house-husband. Anyway, because I cannot strain myself for the time being, he’s still the only one carrying M around. To prepare for his absence after he returns to work, we’ve been trying to get M to walk more on her own and also getting her to climb on stools to reach the toilet seat, wash basin etc. She prefers to be carried naturally but hopefully she’ll be cooperative when required.

As Matt returned to work yesterday, we made some adjustments to her routine. We are sending her to school earlier in the morning as daddy needs to come along to carry her in and out of her car seat and to the school doorstep. In the evenings, Ah Gong will be coming along to do that.

According to my gynae, she would usually dish out a 1-month medical leave for patients who undergo a similar surgery. Since I’m not working, there wasn’t even a need to lift a pen. And I’m kinda back at work, barely 2 weeks after my surgery. But lucky for me, M is currently attending full-day childcare and my parents live nearby and are always ready to lend a helping hand

Happy Children’s Day!

There were definitely good reasons to celebrate this year’s Children’s Day. Firstly, M has had a wonderful month. Her flu/ cough condition that has plagued her for nearly 6 months improved significantly. At the same time, we went back to KKH for her review last week and were told she does not need to take any more of her anti-allergic medication! Yeah…

On Children’s Day, I took my first day of annual leave since starting work as M’s school was closed for the day. It felt a little weird, going through the routine I was so used to as a SAHM. After breakfast, I brought M to the supermarket, got some stuff, cooked lunch (1st time in 2 months), shower her, put her to bed for her nap, do the laundry etc…

And Oct 1 happens to my mum’s birthday too! So after M’s nap, we went to Ang Mo Kio to buy a cake and then went over to my mum’s place for a simple celebration. Nice

And Matt was particularly happy that day too. He was relieved of his “daddy” duties and could work late for once!

It’s amazing how the simplest things in life can make us so happy