Happy working mum?

I’m pretty sure I won’t be if I were a full-time working mum. With a job that separates me from M for at least ten hours five days a week, I believe I’ll turn out to be a rather grouchy person.

Now that M is over 18 months (the minimum age to be accepted into childcare), more people are asking me if I intent to return to work, reminding me that my ‘employability’ will suffer the longer I stay at home.

Well, after being so involved in M’s life over the past two years, it would be really hard to leave her to someone else’s care. Also, I enjoy spending most of M’s waking hours with her and no amount of money or career advancement would have made me change my mind again. It is not a sacrifice (major misconception) but a privilege!

I often wonder what percentage of working mums out there are really happy. My heart goes out to those who would rather be home than be at work. As for those who have jobs they’re passionate about, I envy you gals.

And so nope, I won’t be returning to full-time work anytime soon (I hope)…

Underweight??

A while ago, I received a phone call from Abbott, informing me that M is underweight. (We had agreed to provide her weight and height to Abbott during our last visit to our paediatrician). I was rather surprised; not because M is in fact relatively lighter for her age but because of the use of the word ‘underweight’.

They certainly know that all parents want their children to grow well. And for those whose kids are not eating well, they’ve come up with a formula milk (Pediasure Complete) which apparently can be used as meal replacements. They kindly offered us a sample can to try out.

Since M is currently taking another Abbott’s formula milk (Gain IQ), I was curious how different they were. The reply I got was that Pediasure Complete contains more vegetable oils which provide more calories. I didn’t really like the idea of boosting M’s weight with more vegetable oils but since they were giving us a free 400g can, I readily accepted it and M finished it in one week without any resistance. But we didn’t switch to Pediasure Complete.

The problem or rather non-problem is that M is not underweight and is generally eating well. At least that’s what we think. Yes, she’s relatively small-sized, just like me. According to the weight-for-age and height-for-age charts from the heath booklet, she’s around the 10^th percentile curves. She has been on this curve since she was born.

And if you go on to look at the Weight-for-Height and Body Mass Index-for-age charts, she’s around the 50^th percentile curve. Which means: although she may be lighter and shorter among her average peer, her weight is just right for her height. Most importantly, she looks healthy!

The term ‘underweight’ certainly shouldn’t be applied to any kid who weighs below the 50^thpercentile on the weight-for-age chart. On another note, I doubt many would consider kids who weigh above the 50^th percentile on the same chart ‘overweight’. In fact, many would think these kids are well-fed.

And needless to say, parents of these kids would never get a call informing them that their kids should cut down their calorie intake

Stay-at-home mum

It’s interesting that when I tell people that I’m a stay-at-home mum, I often feel a tinge of guilt. I just can’t help it, even though I enjoy what I’m doing.

These days, it’s common for mums to work outside their homes, leaving the care of their kids to grandmothers, nannies, domestic helpers or childcare providers. Interestingly, just one generation ago, most mums stayed at home. According to the Department of Statistics, Singapore’s female labour participation rate rose from 28.2% in 1970 to 50.2% in 2000. Notice how this societal change took place over a generation.

Most of the mums I know in my generation (sister, sis-in-law, cousins and friends) work full-time outside their homes. And the force of change has to be education, right? Back then, women generally did not receive much education and the jobs they held paid little; hence it was very natural for them to look after their kids when they came along.

I feel most people expect me to work and earn an income. Afterall, it makes economic sense. I have a university degree and a cost-benefit-analysis would show that I’ll be better off financially by working and outsourcing the care of my kid. But what if I followed my heart and chose to be a stay-at-home mum?

I feel guilty! Why? Because I received an education that was supposed to liberate women from their homes. It didn’t work on me, I guess…