Tuesday, 28 December 2010

Oh, what a miracle am I…

That was the theme and title of the finale song at M’s school’s year-end concert. And I just cannot agree more! Every child is a miracle and watching M grow has given me a chance to be a part of it. I continue to marvel at her development from a newborn baby to a preschooler, even though she’s ‘regular’ in most aspects.

Anyway, back to the concert. It took place on a Saturday morning and her class (Pre-Nursery) had two performances – one in Chinese and one in English, on top of the finale song item. We were so proud of M! She did the actions for all 3 song items really well. Most importantly, she enjoyed herself and was not at all frightened on stage, which is quite common for young children (not to mention adults!).

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So a big thank you to all the teachers of Schoolhouse by the garden… Especially Feng lao shi and teacher Mag!

Friday, 29 October 2010

Is it worth it?

A few weeks ago, someone asked me this question, which I guess applies to every mum and rightfully every parent. In essence, the question is – Is it worth trading our time for money?

time_is_money_by_MelissanthiSince my ‘bold’ return to the work force, I spend around 12 hours a day at work (excluding travelling time) five days a week. It’s longer hours than most jobs but pretty normal in this field of work. And let’s just say the money does make up for it to some extent.

Let me first start with what I’m missing out on a typical working day. I’m usually out of the house before M wakes up so I do not go through her morning routine – milk, potty, change, breakfast, send her to school. In the evenings I usually reach home just before her bedtime, so I do not pick her up from school, prepare her dinner, feed her and shower her. The only part of her daily routine I’m still involved is reading her a bedtime story and staying in bed with her till she falls asleep, which may mean the whole night sometimes because I’m just too tired to move! So, from around 6 hours of interaction time to less than 1 hour!

Well for me, the only silver lining is that Matt & I are kinda in a role reversal situation. He is now ‘replacing’ me in those hours that I’m not around. And after 3 months, even he agrees that daddy and daughter are now ‘closer’ than before, something I’m not complaining about! And of course I try to maximise the weekends and keep it strictly for family.

But honestly, I dun think I can answer that question till say at least 10 years later… when I can appreciate the consequences of our decisions today. But its still a good question to constantly ask ourselves, especially us parents. Every child has only 1 childhood and decisions we make will affect the memories we create with them that will last them a lifetime.

Tough… that’s what happens when time becomes a commodity!

Back to work…

Well, one of the drawbacks of not working is that we do not get any leave, of any sort. A week after my surgery, I went back to my gynae to check on the wound. All’s well and the plaster is off. I can now see and feel the roughly 8am cut on my lower abdomen. The tests on the fibroids showed they were benign. Phew!

Physically, I feel much better and can move around with more ease. My abdomen area still feels sore though, as the cut muscles and tissues take time to heal. The stomach binder has been helpful in keeping ‘things’ together but wearing it under clothes can be unsightly. A couple of days ago, I tried not wearing it on a short shopping trip and felt that ‘hanging’ feeling. I’ve since found a better alternative – my mum’s girdles! And they worked perfectly without the bulkiness of the stomach binder :)

As I got better, I was able to help with simple chores around the house. Matt has been doing everything during this period and he’s going crazy! He said he can never be a house-husband. Anyway, because I cannot strain myself for the time being, he’s still the only one carrying M around. To prepare for his absence after he returns to work, we’ve been trying to get M to walk more on her own and also getting her to climb on stools to reach the toilet seat, wash basin etc. She prefers to be carried naturally but hopefully she’ll be cooperative when required.

As Matt returned to work yesterday, we made some adjustments to her routine. We are sending her to school earlier in the morning as daddy needs to come along to carry her in and out of her car seat and to the school doorstep. In the evenings, Ah Gong will be coming along to do that.

According to my gynae, she would usually dish out a 1-month medical leave for patients who undergo a similar surgery. Since I’m not working, there wasn’t even a need to lift a pen. And I’m kinda back at work, barely 2 weeks after my surgery. But lucky for me, M is currently attending full-day childcare and my parents live nearby and are always ready to lend a helping hand :)

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

Happy Children’s Day!

There were definitely good reasons to celebrate this year’s Children’s Day. Firstly, M has had a wonderful month. Her flu/ cough condition that has plagued her for nearly 6 months improved significantly. At the same time, we went back to KKH for her review last week and were told she does not need to take any more of her anti-allergic medication! Yeah…

On Children’s Day, I took my first day of annual leave since starting work as M’s school was closed for the day. It felt a little weird, going through the routine I was so used to as a SAHM. After breakfast, I brought M to the supermarket, got some stuff, cooked lunch (1st time in 2 months), shower her, put her to bed for her nap, do the laundry etc…

And Oct 1 happens to my mum’s birthday too! So after M’s nap, we went to Ang Mo Kio to buy a cake and then went over to my mum’s place for a simple celebration. Nice :)

And Matt was particularly happy that day too. He was relieved of his “daddy” duties and could work late for once!

It’s amazing how the simplest things in life can make us so happy :)

Saturday, 7 August 2010

Taking the plunge!

As M settled well into full-day childcare and left me free at home, I started to explore opportunities to return to work. My ideal was a part-time position that’s outside the home (enough staying home!) but I soon realised that options were rather limited.

At the same time, I was presented with a few interesting full-time opportunities. I reckon nobody wants to see a full-time headcount being reduced, especially since headcounts are usually easier to be cut than increased. So I either have to stick my head in or continue to stay home for an extended period.

And as I went through the interview process for one opportunity, I got cold feet about returning to work. One of my biggest concern is of course whether I would be able to balance the needs of both family and work. But after pondering on it for several days and nights, I feel I’m ready to face my fears and move on.

M is after all not an infant anymore. At 3+, she’s gradually becoming more independent and is able to express her needs and wants. She is also more of a social being now compared to a newborn who demands undivided attention. While I have no regrets staying home over the past 3 years, I’m not sure I’ll still feel the same way if I continue to do so. I can’t deny getting excited about doing something new :P

And since I may not be lucky a second time, I decided to size the day. Recent events in my life definitely made my return to the workforce sooner than I expected.\ Whatever the case, I’ve had a nice long break and I’m ready for the plunge!

Friday, 30 July 2010

Going in peace…

Some people say it’s morbid but I prefer to make plans for my family in case I have to leave this world before them. Over the past few months, I’ve summarised our household’s financial situation – mainly our assets and liabilities. During the exercise, we also reviewed our insurance needs with our financial consultant. The only thing left to do was writing a will so we can name our executors, beneficiaries and guardians for M, in case we have to go before she reaches adulthood.

The Intestate Succession Act applies in situations when a person dies without a will (intestate) or if the will left behind is incomplete. It governs who gets the deceased’s estate in what proportion and who can manage the estate. Personally, I think that if either me or Matt were to go first, it may not be a big issue dying intestate. However, it can get complicated if the worst scenario should happen, i.e. both of us dying together. *Touch wood*

In most cases, family members apply to be executors of the deceased’s estate as well as guardians of the deceased’s children. But we would rather save them the anguish of having to make those tough decisions on our behalf. Dying testate (with a will) also gives us peace of mind that M will be in good hands in the event that we can’t be there for her.

And the price of this peace of mind – $920 for the 2 of us!

Saturday, 24 July 2010

SAHM to FTWM: a sea change!

Finally got time to pen some thoughts. It’s been a hectic month for our family, trying to adjust our daily routine to accommodate my move back to the workforce. Contrary to what many think, the move has impacted Matt most among the three of us.

M is pretty well settled in full-day care so she is in fact the least affected. Apart from being picked up later from school in the evenings, her daily routine hasn’t changed very much. Well, she cried a fair bit in the first week when she woke up in the mornings to find that mummy had already left for work but she got used to it fairly quickly.

As for me, it has been surprising easy except for trying to stay awake the whole day (no more afternoon naps!). LOL. Being in a new job in a new industry has definitely energised me in a some ways. Due my absence from home, Matt has had to step in to handle most of M’s daily routine and the household chores.

And hence he’s been complaining about the ‘hardship’ he’s going through. Well, I wish I could help out more but the hours I’m away really does not allow me to do so. We’re exploring options to lighten Matt’s responsibilities, including hiring a domestic helper.

So, people have been asking if I’ve been missing M now that I’m working full-time. The answer is ‘yes, but I miss my personal time even more!’ In my non-working hours, should I catch up on things I enjoy or should I spend the commonly termed ‘quality’ time with M? That must be the biggest dilemma for every FTWM!

Gotta go…